Thursday, 12 November 2009

The bin men cometh

Strange how these things happen. (Oh no, that was last week.)

It's Thursday everybody. Which means that - if we're not already wide-awake - we're woken (well, roused; nay, startled; actually scared witless wide-awake and double quick) by the battle cry (well, yell) of BIII-MEN! DADDY - MUMMY - BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MEEEEEEEEEN! For the uninitiated this translates as refuse-collection operative (male - plural).

This morning I'd heard the distant rumble of the lorry in my sleep. I turned over, vaguely registering the fact that Charlie would miss seeing them this week (and they him - they all wave cheerily as we stand and watch them empty our bins) and then went back to sleep. (I was in bed, I should point out. Why do bin-men always come so early?) And then it happened. And as usual it was impossible to ignore. If there'd been a fire in his cot he couldn't have shouted any louder. And so I did what any caring dad would do. I told Charlie to be quiet and went back to sleep. No I didn't. I dashed - naked -  from my bed, hoiked Charlie from his cot and rushed to the window just in time to see the bin-men pull up, lights flashing, right outside our house. Strategic use of the curtain spared my blushes (in case you're wondering, Tara). The bins were emptied. Charlie waved. They drove off for another week.

And Charlie asked for more. 'More bi-men daddy' he kept asking as he took hold of my face and made me look him in the eyes. 'More bi-men?' he kept asking. 'Bi-men' he called out after them as they drove off up the road. 'Bi-men. More bi-men!'

After about half an hour I did what any caring dad would do. I told him to shut up, eat his breakfast and wait until next Thursday like the rest of us. No I didn't. (Well, I did - but it didn't do any good.) After getting sick to back teeth of hearing him demand the bi-men I got my old toy 'bi'-lorry from the loft. Now he can take the bloody bin-men to bed with him at night and wake up and see them every morning. And next Thursday, I might get a lie-in. Possibly.

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