Comments on bringing up charlie: Who's been sleeping in MY bed?

With our first child, my husband stayed home with ...

2010-06-04T04:55:29.670+01:00

With our first child, my husband stayed home with him and I went to teach. He'd help with nighttime stuff, bringing him for a feed or amusing him if he didn't go back to sleep.

With our second child, my husband has maintained his earplug habit. I should also mention that the first child is sleeping in our bed, and the second child mostly sleeps through the night in his crib.

I have to say my partner has perfected the rollove...

2009-12-16T11:00:44.684Z

I have to say my partner has perfected the rollover. Our bed is close to the wall and i sleep by the wall side. Whenever baby wakes up, I have to climb over him to tend to her and here comes the perfect rollover move! He just rolls onto my side of the bed so that I don't have to climb over him. How thoughtfull! (cringe)

I'll let you into a secret, RM - that's not the on...

2009-12-15T22:09:33.360Z

I'll let you into a secret, RM - that's not the only mum-type thing I don't seem to be programmed to adopt... But the less said about that the better.

It seems I was the last in a long line of (mostly ...

2009-12-15T14:10:17.104Z

It seems I was the last in a long line of (mostly mummy) bloggers to write a post on this subject. After publishing my post http://tinyurl.com/yennnfv people contacted me with their similar posts and thoughts on the subject. I like your post though, because it tells the story from a male point of view and a male that does the care-giving to boot. It's interesting that although you play the traditional mummy role during the day, you're not programmed to adopt the vigilant mummy role at night. Although from your last comment, maybe you are developing a nighttime kid radar. Commiserations.

I think you're right about the radar, April. It's ...

2009-12-09T22:59:14.427Z

I think you're right about the radar, April. It's sods law (of course) but since I wrote this post I've been waking up all the time when Charlie's called out in the night - but so has Sarah!!

Sounds like one really understanding - and light-sleeping - husband you've got there, CM! I'm sure there are a few people reading who might want to know the secret.

Good, practical solution Heather. We have a similar one sometimes - it's who gets to wear the earplugs!

Well, men are primitive creatures after all Bee. At least, I am...

I was always the one with night duty around here.....

2009-12-07T23:01:02.324Z

I was always the one with night duty around here...ugh! Honestly, I just think women are "wired" to hear the night crying...men..not so much...I think it's a primitive thing!

to be honest, in our house it's usually whoever sl...

2009-12-07T21:48:24.661Z

to be honest, in our house it's usually whoever sleeps nearest the door. we change depending on who's the lost tired, has to be up early etc.

My husband gets up with the 15 month old at night....

2009-12-06T15:16:46.669Z

My husband gets up with the 15 month old at night. He figures I need my sleep more because I am with both kids all day. I think he is right!

Ah dear - see while DOC does the morning school ru...

2009-12-06T01:40:33.832Z

Ah dear - see while DOC does the morning school run now, and even when Bub 1 was little and awake every hour and all she wanted was Dad - I'd still wake up. I think there is some kind of Mum radar, that no matter how tired you are it is near impossible to sleep until your kids are. Very true about the life at home being exceptionally exhausting though - plus I think there is something where Men just sleep more soundly than women overall...

I'm glad I'm not alone, DJ! What was that Liz? Co...

2009-12-05T16:55:46.326Z

I'm glad I'm not alone, DJ!

What was that Liz? Couldn't quite hear...

Most males (including kids) I know seem to suffer ...

2009-12-05T13:33:00.767Z

Most males (including kids) I know seem to suffer from selective deafness. So 'child's crying,' cannot be heard. 'Can you load the diswasher?' cannot be heard. 'Can you lay the table?' and 'Can you make your bed?' cannot be heard. 'Dinner,' 'game/match/race is starting,' and 'what do you want for Christmas?' can always be heard.

Chopper sleeps through N3S's nightime shouts more ...

2009-12-05T13:15:26.065Z

Chopper sleeps through N3S's nightime shouts more often than not too.

Nicely put, Ian. The beautiful slog... sounds like...

2009-12-05T11:46:33.563Z

Nicely put, Ian. The beautiful slog... sounds like the title of a book!

Good point, MH. I suppose knowing, deep down, that Sarah is on a hair-trigger means I stay oblivious to it

Oh, if only, Josie. Nice thought, though...

Damn right, Josie. And I'm happy to admit it! Can you imagine if men had to give birth?

That's a pretty good incentive for rising smartly and attending to them, BiB... might even motivate me, you never know.

Ah, the sanctuary of the office Glowstars... if only!

Glad it made you laugh, Emma. As a man, I'm used to people laughing at the things I do. Oh well...

That sounds like a well-worked system nyaym. Anything that works, well... works! And everyone copes with a different strategy.

I don't know how I do it, Jenny. In fact, at lot of the time I don't...

Good point Tara - it's about being tuned in to a different frequency of sound, isn't it? Mind you, I did once sleep through an earthquake... so maybe I'm deaf to the lot!

Blimey, WoM, I don't think I'm that bad.... am I?

Hmmm, good point bmbm! I'll stop complaining...

Yes, frighteningly quicky Geroge's mum! I'm not wishing it away - the time's too precious - but the to do list keeps on getting longer!

I had those fond, misguided plans as well, DD. That second novel still remains a distant dream!

Well Claire, you'll never believe it - he took TWO bears to bed with him last night! And they both stayed put... At this rate there'll be no room for him by this time next week!

That's like Mini and Edward, she has "Teddy White"...

2009-12-04T18:13:41.077Z

That's like Mini and Edward, she has "Teddy White" (now sadly more Grey than white) that world war three will break out if he's ever lost. She left it in Maccy D s a while ago, and I had to run back to the High Street, praying it was there.
Edward on the other hand shows no interest in having a bear in bed all night, apart from his Scouty bear, but even he is subject to be flung from the cot.

Women's work. Yes, I identify with this post. I lo...

2009-12-04T15:51:02.596Z

Women's work. Yes, I identify with this post. I looked after our first born (15 years ago) for about four months when my wife went back to work and I was "freelancing". I was exhausted by the time she got back at 6pm after tending to my son who, I realise now, was actually an easy baby who slept well but needed feeding and changing about seven times a day or so.

I actually thought during this time I could write while he slept. Ha! He slept, I slept.

Yay a bear called George! My husband could sleep...

2009-12-04T15:44:34.089Z

Yay a bear called George!

My husband could sleep through our building being bombed! Seriously. he hears nothing. Thank you for admiring my tree today- that sounds weird but you know what I mean. Staying at home with a baby is harder than any of the jobs I've had- even the really crappy ones where my boss was a maniac! Oh well, they'll be at school soon. right? eek

Hmm. From a lone working parent with two light sle...

2009-12-04T15:36:11.492Z

Hmm. From a lone working parent with two light sleepers I'd have to say grrr hmphh grumble moan yawn.... :-)

I definately think that there is some genuine reas...

2009-12-04T13:42:56.687Z

I definately think that there is some genuine reason why men don't seem to hear the kids.

Thanks to a hacking cough I've slept on the sofa the last few nights, leaving OH in bed with his door and the kids doors open. Can he hear them when they wake up? No.

This morning I heard Ben get up, walk across the landing into the master bedroom and start chatting to his Daddy, I rolled over happy that his Daddy would wake up and hopefully put him back to bed if it was before 6.30 and guess what... OH woke up at 7:30 when I yelled up the stairs that the baby was awake to find our toddler on the bedroom floor!

My husband has often said 'I honestly don't know h...

2009-12-04T13:36:51.410Z

My husband has often said 'I honestly don't know how you do it'.
I think it's different for each family. I was the get up in the nighter because I was breastfeeding and it honestly didn't bother me. But then they did both sleep through from an early age so I guess I had it easy.
But even now if one wakes because they are ill or need the toilet etc, I'm up like a shot.
The cat once knocked an ornament off a shelf in the lounge in the middle of the night onto a wooden floor and I totally slept through that!

Yes, the old bears are the best eh? They like old...

2009-12-04T13:29:07.149Z

Yes, the old bears are the best eh? They like old warhorses, strong and can stand anything.

The best time was when Husband said to me after having the kids when little:
I don't know how you do it. Treasured that one. xxxx

My husband looks after Sam 2 full days & 3 afterno...

2009-12-04T13:19:32.321Z

My husband looks after Sam 2 full days & 3 afternoons a week. He also works 4 nights a week so I work all day and then am up all night if Sam chooses. Even on the days Craig is off I still get up with Sam, not just because he doesn't wake up (it'd be very easy just to nudge him until he did) but becaue I feel so bloody guilty that I go to work all day (which is the easy job) whereas Craig has to entertain a 17 month old baby who hates to sit down.
I don't blame you for being knackered, Craig is too. It's the hardest job in the world and I hate to admit but I couldn't do it, as much as I love my baby.

I cant write/talk for the tears of laughter.. I lo...

2009-12-04T13:15:34.882Z

I cant write/talk for the tears of laughter.. I love the fact the different sexes can use the excuse of 'I'm a man' or a 'I'm a woman'!

I was only guilty of it yesterday when we realized Oli's cot needed lowering .. Jon said to me why don't you do it.. I replied with 'I'm a Woman' .

His jobs are to simply go to work & attempt any diy the house needs.
His turn to do feeds tonight.. I'm sure I'll be the first one awake , I might as well do them. I seem to be programmed to instantly wake up and robot walk to Oli's room!

:)

Too right about a women's work being tough - that'...

2009-12-04T11:38:41.375Z

Too right about a women's work being tough - that's exactly why I head out to the office each day!

Got to say that I sleep very deeply and Dave doesn...

2009-12-04T11:03:17.098Z

Got to say that I sleep very deeply and Dave doesn't. Our little sleep deprivers are of the sort when if you can get to them fast you have a fighting chance of them going back to sleep pretty quickly. If you don't you are in for the long haul. I don't appear to hear the calls until the long haul phase. Dave gets up most of the time.... But I do get up with them in the morning, any time from 6 so I reckon that is a fair trade off.

I'm genuinely not sure how I'm still alive some da...

2009-12-04T10:17:19.700Z

I'm genuinely not sure how I'm still alive some days. Life with Kai is definitely a 24 hour job, I have been the one getting up with him every night (often several times) for 17 months, then we're up at 6.30 ready to start again. It's not that Ant wouldn't, it's just that if he looses to much sleep he is grumpy and horrible, liable to nod off at any moment, and I decided he was more help to me during daylight hours if he got his zzz's in. I get to go back to bed on Sat & Sun mornings which is my trade-off.

You men, you just don't have the stamina... ;)(although the fact you admit to it makes me forgive you...)