That well-known sponger the Duke of Edinburgh has been spotted - sponging - at Lord's this morning. Apparently, he's a life-member (honorary) of the MCC so he's sponging off one of the most august and respectable institutions in the land. No doubt the charity workers he was heard comparing sponging notes with yesterday would like a bit of that. But no. The Prince of Philip-ville is royal. Only the best will do. For him.
Oh, and in addition to a whopping, sponging £300,000 per annum from the Sovereign Support Grant (no austerity measures there) he's Greek. And we all know what a mess Greek finance is in, don't we?
If any of the above is in any way offensive then - in a word the Duke himself probably uses, after uttering such witticisms as 'just take the f**king photograph' (to a photographer), 'slitty-eyes' (a student in China), 'looks as though it's been put in by an Indian' (a fuse box at a Scottish factory), 'vast waste of space' (British Embassy, Berlin) and 'what exotic part of the world do you come from?' (Lord Taylor of Warwick - who is from Birmingham) - tough.
Tough on the rest of us, that's certain. Because, not having had the fortune to marry a woman whose distant ancestors killed each other in order to gain power, we can't say what we bloody well like.
But he can.
Just remember, though - it's only a joke.
And the joke's on us.