Well, that's telly land I suppose... Kids, dogs, footballer's wives and two of the loveliest presenters I think I could ever wish to meet. My fifteen minutes of fame on ITV's This Morning earlier today was certainly an eye-opener.
Quick back-stage gossip: the guys and girls behind-the-scenes work miracles. How else would I have been made to look so vaguely human and relatively calm?
But I still can't quite get over the back-stage chaos: dogs in the green room; Abbey Clancy wandering the corridor with her hair in rollers; phones ringing, kids crying... together with a constant grazing, feeding frenzy as fruit bowls are filled, toast is made and both cast and crew come and go to get fed and watered. And in spite of all that they make sure you an appropriate mug for your coffee. Or is that just me?
The studio proper isn't much calmer either, what with sets being moved, cameramen cracking jokes and last-minute changes to the running order. But Eamonn Holmes and his wife are a great team and true pros; if it looked like a friendly chat on the sofa that's because they made it feel just like that.
And although we were pitched against each other for the purpose of the programme, Martin Daubney and I actually agreed on an awful lot of stuff, so much that the researchers got a little jittery before the item wondering if we'd become too pally. Well, we did go for a pint in the Mulberry Bush (opposite the studios) afterwards, observing the antics of the paparazzi as they sit behind their laptops waiting for the next celebrity to snap!
Those kids, those children in the fashion item along with Mrs Peter Crouch, they were utter stars. They were all there when I arrived (which was well over an hour before the programme started) and yet they were so well behaved while waiting for their slot. Respect to the mums who were with them; I know that doesn't happen without hard work.
The dogs were quite well-behaved too.
As were most of the humans.