Thursday, 5 July 2012

A Fairy Tale from the Daily Fail

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince. He met a fair maid and married her with much pomp and ceremony at Westminster Abbey. The whole nation rejoiced (especially at the sight of the fair maid's sister's rather captivating posterior) and the two of them lived happily ever (the prince and fair maid, that is, not her sister's glutei maximi). The prince went back to driving helicopters and the princess smiled prettily and captivated almost everybody.

Except, that is, for one man. His name was Paul and he hated to see other people living happily ever after, especially if their parents did rather well out of it. In fact, he was really rather beastly to the fair maid's mum in particular, never ceasing to have a dig or two about her former career ('It's a long way from 'doors to manual' for Mrs Middleton') and criticising her for selling 'gaudy Diamond Jubilee memorabilia' on her website.

Even the way she laughed came in for criticism. 'At Ascot,' he wrote, 'Carole, 55, felt sufficiently at ease to bray with laughter at one of Philip’s jokes as they watched racegoers from the royal box - even if such a raucous laugh was the sort of thing that would have raised eyebrows at Downton Abbey.'

Now in the same country there was a humble blogger who from time to time wrote things about aspects of the Royal Family he found puzzling. A few people read his stuff and now and then people added comments, which he liked.

But such was the zeal with which Scott of The Mail pursued the fair maid's mum that he seized upon these 'puerile witterings', describing one piece as 'an excoriating diatribe' and claiming that - as it was 'prominently displayed on the Middletons’ website' - it might imply their 'tacit approval' of this bloggers 'vehemently anti-monarchist' thesis.

That's the fairy story, anyway.

The reality, such as it is, is rather more mundane but in the interests of putting a few things straight (and in case Paul Scott is reading) here are the facts:

Far from 'penning a regular blog for The Party Times' or 'publishing an entry on The Party Times page' I write this blog, here, and publish it on my page. No 'inflammatory articles' of mine 'appear on the Party Times website'; they are merely linked via that 'tackily titled' blogroll you keep mentioning. That's how blogs work, Paul.

As you rightly say, I'm a former teacher. And old habits of correcting ignorance wherever I find it die hard. 

Anything else I can help you with today?


12 comments:

  1. I find it quite funny that they keep quoting you Tim. This chap seems to have taken a liking to you. Hope your page views have improved

    ReplyDelete
  2. I read your link to the article yesterday and thought how typically Daily Fail Mr Scott's response was. I think he looks down on Mrs M more than the Royal Family seem to do and appears the most appalling snob. Like you, I find aspects of the monarchy puzzling and certainly not above criticism. Overall though, I tend towards indifference rather than dislike and if given the opportunity to abolish either the Royals or the Daily Fail the newspaper would go every time...

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's quite a story he's made from the fact that your blog appears on a blog roll. Perhaps Mr Scott needs a bit of education about how the world wide web works?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've got nothing to say concerning the Royal Family, but I do like your calm demeanor. I would probably be fuming and cursing.
    You've got more class in your fingertips than I have in my entire body. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oooh, love it. What on earth he has against you is anyone's guess. Poor little man.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I couldn't resist; I finally gave in and googled The Party Times to take a look at their blogroll. May I just say that Pippa - if it's she who chose the blogs on it - has gone up in my estimation as a result? (And no - I'm not on it!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think you need to charge him a per word rate for helping him write his article. I would go and read it online, but I can't go near the Daily Fail without my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oooh, I'm sooo jealous! Wish the Daily Fail would review my blog :) Btw, Paul if you're reading this I'm a feckless single parent - the scourge of the country.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love the fact that the ad that shows up for me when I open this post is for Jubilee sick bags!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fantastic news to see the fail are at it again. Someday you will need to meet him and thank him in person for your hits!
    Love it Tim, keep at it!

    BNM

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sue My Scott for Libel!

    Haha just seen your Daily Mail badge and dissed by comment ;-)) Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That man is a cretin. I love reading the daily mail though! My British born husband hates it!

    ReplyDelete

Your comment is important to us. Please hold...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...