Thursday, 15 March 2012

What a mess!

I was idly speculating on Twitter this morning about the blog topics I was considering. A sponsored post that had been scheduled for today was cancelled so I was mulling over a few ideas.

There was a range of options. I have a book to plug, a vaccum to review, some pans to give away and some ranting to do. About dog poo.

Dog poo actually got the vote, largely thanks to the power of Potty Mummy and the 35,000 wild dogs on the streets of Moscow but also to @ihearthmuthahood. A couple of people (@Missy_B83 and @PippaD) suggested I should combine all the topics in a single post and maybe even create a short story out of them.

But you know what? I'm not going to. I'm not going to write about any of them. Who wants to read about dog poo? I don't; I spend half my life avoiding it on the school run and cursing the irresponsible, anti-social and incompetent owners who allow their dogs to defecate in the middle of the pavement.

If I had my way I would bring back the dog licence, charge at least £200 a year and use the cash to pay for some of those wonderful street cleaners they have in Paris who ride around on scooters sucking the stuff up into an enormous vacuum cleaner. (I'd be tempted to do the job myself - the Vax Mach Air Reach that I've been trialling certainly has the hose length and suction power. Perhaps I could attach it to the pushchair?)

I could write a book about it. But like I said, who'd want to read about that? Far better to get stuck into some Writing Therapy. And if that inspires you to have a go yourself, my new 'how-to' guide to Creative Writing will set you on your way quite nicely.


Which only leaves the saucepans, really. Denby saucepans, to be precise. I'm giving away this fantastic Denby four-piece stainless steel saucepan set (rrp £120) courtesy of Palmers, the independent East Anglian department store which is celebrating its 175th birthday this year.

All you have to do is come round to my neighbourhood and clear up all the dog mess. No, seriously. To be in it to win it you can do any one (or all) of the following:


Leave me a comment telling me which method(s) you've opted for and I'll put you into the virtual hat, the one I'll be pulling names out of next weekend.

Good luck. Happy reading and jolly clicking.

Oh, and mind where you're walking.

28 comments:

  1. Have tweeted Tim - you will be glad to know that I am a responsible dog owner. Nothing like carrying around that must-have accessory - a plastic bag full of poop. Joy.

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  2. I'm very glad to hear it, Suzie. Not that I ever doubted it, mind you. And thanks for the tweet!

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  3. Well I already like you on FB, and I'll tweet a link (https://twitter.com/#!/PippaD/status/180260346769059840) I'll even go and read the blurb about your newest book! You'd like it round my way, only one owner doesn't clean up the dog muck and someone quite helpfully picked it up and put it in her front garden for her...

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  4. Direct action, Pippa! I do admire that. And I hope it solved the problem. Thanks for the clicks. You're name vill also go in ze hat.

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  5. I tweeted a link (seemed rude not, after the mention!), and here's a question? Do you remember the name they gave those scooters in Paris when they were first launched? Actually, I do, and I love it, so I'm going to tell you; Kaka-Kawosaki's. Fabulous.

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    1. I am soooo glad you told me that. I knew they had a name but had forgotten all about it... That's made my day!

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  6. @needaphone I have tweeted and I always follow you... I was thinking you looked like Robin Williams the actor x

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    1. Really? Er, wow. I think that qualifies as a double-entry Claire. Ahem!

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  7. @needaphone and of course I like your book x

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  8. I already like you on Facebook (of course), already have Fatherhood, having bought it for the better half but have treated myself to Writing Therapy for the Kindle which looks fantastic.
    Oh and I've tweeted ( https://twitter.com/#!/NickiCawood/status/180375919192584192 ).

    And I am currently training the boys to exclaim loudly "Look Mummy that grown up hasn't scooped the poop!!" when seeing offenders.

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  9. Oh Nicki, I love you. But you knew that anyway. You've bought me! And I'm going to plagiarise your method of shaming irresponsible dog owners too. Charlie has a very loud voice.

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  10. I suggest bringing back whipping for those who don't clean up after their dogs. That is all.

    And I'll like you on Facebook. But because I like you, I don't need anything kitchen-related, thanks. I might end up having to cook!

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  11. Don't get me started re dog poo.... Tweeted

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  12. Hi Tim, completed all three tasks - I need to win the pans so that I do a better job of recreating Aldo's recipes!!
    Annwen

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  13. Am a fan on Facebook, following and retweeted @cistolic. Thoroughly enjoyed reading Fatherhood, not yet read Bring up Charlie

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  15. Retweeted followed, etc. @rghostheart
    I no longer own a dog, but when I did someone stole my dog poo off me. I had a very old bag I used to keep necessary dog poop cleaning equip in when I took him out for his walks ( the place where he had chosen to go on this paticular walk was ages away from the poop bin so after I'd bagged it, I put the bag in said old bag - gross I know but the said old bag was only used for that ). I then tried to reply to a text on my phone but holding the lead and the bag was very difficult so I put the bag down. I was surprised as this lad runs past and grabs the bag. I even shouted some choice words after him, before my brain kicked in and I realised yes he had just robbed a bag of poo.

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  16. Hello! I shall tweet as I'm on my phone and perhaps do the others later, the book looks interesting!

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  17. Hiya!

    I'm now following you on Twitter and have tweeted about your giveaway!

    @KookyKaty :)

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  18. I've "liked" your new book (all the best of luck with it!)

    @KookyKaty

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  19. I'm also following your "brand-new" facebook page :)

    @KookyKaty

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  20. I could do with one of those vacuums for my garden, the neighbours cats think it's their personal litter tray. Or maybe some kind of catapult to fire it back to their gardens. The cat-a-poo-lt. Dragons Den here I come.

    I'll tweet a link now

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  21. I've liked the book, your facebook page and tweeted too. Fingers crossed x
    @crazzzyRaj

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  22. Ive liked you on facebook (am kiki woo on there) & tweeded too (@kikicomp)

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  23. Dog owners - if your dog poos, thank you for collecting the mess in a plastic bag. Just don't leave said plastic bag on the pavement/park and expect it to disintegrate. It won't. I speak from the experience of my children's scooters/feet/prams. And on to Like you at Facebook. Which I might already do!

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