Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Does my bus look big in this?

Oh, the shame! What have we done? Produced a bus-spotter, that's what! In full and final proof of the power of genetics over learned behaviour, nature over nurture, Charlie has become obsessed by buses. He can't see one (and he sees them ages before anyone else, his bus-radar is so sharp) without pointing wildly and shouting loudly, "BIG BUS! BIG BUS!" Or rather, that's what he would shout if he was talking properly. But in the same way that yoghurt is somehow 'oggle-og' and sometimes 'oggle-oggle-oggle', a bus to Charlie isn't quite a bus, but comes out more like 'buh'. (For a fuller description of Charlie's language skills see this post - ed.) And therefore 'big bus' sounds like 'big buh'. And while that's quite close to the large multi-coloured, free-to-the-over-sixties form of public transport, it also sounds embarrassingly similar to something else, especially when following someone with more ample hindquarters, shall we say. More than once have irate heads turned sharply round to see the source of such an insult. More than once have I suddenly found something fascinating to look at on the floor as we walk past another innocently abused member of the public. What they think I'm teaching him, God knows. I'm expecting a visit from social services any time now. Meantime, I'd better do some remedial training. So, Charlie, for the last time:

Bums (big or otherwise)

And buses (courtesy


  1. Thanks for clarifying. But I'm struggling, could you provide more pictorial explanations?

  2. 'Ample hindquarters'! Ha! How I laughed. Sounds like a donkey!

    I'm sure as he gets older he'll be more interested in the top picture rather than the bottom!

    Come to think of it he'll probably be interested in both top and bottom!

    Oh dear....bit early for me - I've me marbles..RMxx

  3. I meant to say:

    I've lost me marbles!!!

    I'm going now xx

  4. Oh, lovely!

    My daughter used to have a lot of problems saying the word 'fork'. Not great, if invited out for dinner and your girl is shouting 'f**k! f**k!' at the top of her voice.

  5. I think it's cute myself...that baby talk won't last forever and he will be so embarassed reading these old blog posts when he is a teenager!

  6. I think he is actually saying big bum and you're covering for him. Tim, he hasn't got this from you has he? Surely not!

  7. Which do want more of, Ian?

    No, RM - he prefers the top-deck every time. And the front-seat, too!!

    I think that's probably worse, Catharine. Then again...

    Thanks, Jen.

    What's going to embarrass him most, AM? The buses or the bottoms?

    How could you possibly suggest such a thing, Rosie!

  8. The only thing you need to worry about buses, D, is that he doesn't grow up like Jack and Stan and Blakey in On The Buses! Mind you, they were real men in those days.

    Will look at your stories after the school run. xx

  9. Oh, they were Jenny, they were... 'I 'ate you, Butler!'

  10. He he he. I think I'll try to get Toddler boy to do that. The hours of fun I could have!

  11. Get our boys together and we'd be quite a team!

    I once worked with a little boy who could spot a bus a mile away. I used to ride them with him simply to keep him entertained.
    Your double deckers beat ours any day. Hands down!

  12. Wonderful! Hmm, what can I teach my little lad? Actually I'm more concerned about what he may have learned from me from the safety of his car seat. Tats, tosses, anchors. Oh dear!

  13. Oh what a good excuse to post that picture....(not the bus)
    ...don't worry he'll move on from buses to trucks, diggers, fire engines, trains, etc

  14. My little darling is big into diggers. Just that it's one of the few words she'll only say in German. The German word (Bagger) is pronounced exactly like bugger.

    Ah well.

  15. Erm.. I don't think he's going to grow out of this... I think he may know more than you think...

  16. How bizarre. My little 'un is the same. Totally obsessed with buses - especially when we're driving around town with him. So much so we've bought him a little yellow Lego Duplo bus which he absolutely won't let go off.

  17. Yet, I think, slightly better than my daughter's cry of "Big Bosumers!" when she sees a well endowed woman and she's five and should know better!

  18. Oh yes, this is exactly what we have - a bus spotter. And a taxi spotter. And a train... damn. But yes we walk down the street to a constant refrain of 'it's a big bus Mummy; red bus, it's a real bus Mummy; look Mummy look; it's a... it's aNOTHER bus Mummy look TWO buses TWO, THREE buses one two three four five six EIGHT buses Mummy' etc etc. And we also had 'F**k' for 'fork' for a veeeeerry painfully long time!

  19. Ooh, call me an anorak but of these 2 photos I find the Routemasters more sexy!

  20. Hope you're a fast runner, ZA!

    Oh, I know, Serena. They're better than a fairground ride for Charlie. And everytime they stop to take on passengers, he shouts 'more! more!'

    I know that feeling, Sandy. Still, I can always tell people that he's asking for a fork!

    He's already there I fear, NB. But buses are supreme at present.

    Now, there's a thought, Cartside - bilingual bus identifying. Is the German word for bus exciting?

    I think you're right, Scarlett.

    Must be something in the water, Steve. Or in the air. Uncanny...

    So, she's not interested in buses then, WM?

    I sense you don't quite share his fascination yet, Sparx. Would I be right?

    Glad to be of service, Gadjo.

    Any more fares?

  21. Aw bless! Matthews obsessions is binmen and taxi cars! Luckily no near misses with bums with those though!

  22. Heehee, love it! Although why you couldn't have shown a pic of men's bums I don't know... ;)

  23. We hardly ever see buses up here! As for big bums, there's plenty!

    CJ xx

  24. Hmmm... I can think of a few other things they might possibly be confused with, Mel!

    Well, I tried Clarey, I tried. But I couldn't find one in my... ahem, 'collection'.

    What? No buses in the country, CJ?


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