Thursday, 26 March 2009

Nappy-ness

You might have noticed that, when someone says something on this blog, they don't do something as prosaic as simply 'comment'. Oh no. They change a nappy. And why not? I can tell you that it's more than a little appropriate to life with Charlie, all the more so lately. When the numbers start to rise in blog-land I get quite excited; I like reading people's comments. In fact, it's the best part about it. One day I'm going to do a 'best of...' post made up of classic comments; they're better than this drivel. And they're odour-free and (almost always) clean. Not the bulging, stinking, retch-inducing, never-ending things I've had to cope with recently. Honestly, I'm convinced that more comes out than goes in. Without going into unnecessary detail, for the last week or so we've had something of a nappy marathon. After Comic-Relief I even started to suspect that Charlie might have handed out some sponsor-forms. But doing something messy (and smelly) for money wouldn't have made good television, though my attempts to cope have been amusing. We mentally examined every meal he'd eaten. There was nothing we could 'finger' (if you'll pardon the expression). The only thing out of the ordinary lately has been Charlie's recent MMR. The nurse did say that Charlie might be grouchy, and to watch for symptoms ten days later. But she didn't mention anything about exploding nappies or industrial-size bowel movements.
At least Charlie doesn't seem to have been worried by it. Puzzled, maybe, at a couple of extra baths and frustrated sometimes by his frequent outfit changes. But otherwise OK. And we seem at last to have 'passed' the monumental motion stage. This week everything is back to normal. I don't have to scoop him off his feet the moment that his face goes red; I no longer have to open all the windows in his bedroom for at least an hour; I can face my food again. If it was the jabs then I'm just grateful that there won't be any more now for a year or two. By which time I must try to have a job. A job that doesn't involve a conveyor-belt of dirty nappies.

26 comments:

  1. Crikey.

    Glad that normal service (ing!) has resumed.

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  2. You have my sympathy. Ours has it MMR about 10 days before Christmas and right on cue was very cranky and ill on Christmas day. No fulsome nappies though. The nappy fairy thankfully passed is by on that score.

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  3. I know just how you feel...believe me I do. Edie absolutely refuses to be potty trained and I've had enough of horrible little accidents so it's back with the nappies...the only redeeming fact is that at least she's my child (as the only thing that smells worse than your own children's nappies are other people's children's nappies).

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  4. The joys of the age. I'm sure we could *all* share some exploding nappy stories too! At least Charlie seems mostly unperturbed about it all, which is the main thing :)

    Cyalayta
    Mal :)

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  5. Hmmmmm...not the usual reaction to the MMR jab. If it was off colour (as in pale cream or white) then poor Charlie probably had the Rotovirus. If he did then he may be slightly milk intolerant for a few weeks.

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  6. All 3 of mine were a little bit off in different ways after jabs. If only I knew then that that was the easy bit.

    Don't mind me, exam's are getting nearer, stress is building at work and at home

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  7. Glad I'm over that stage with mine! It was when they were new born that I remember the worst ones, They were often bright yellow, the sort that squidge out of the sides and up their back to their neck!! Ewww.....(couldn't resist sharing that thought!)

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  8. *Gives Mr Dot's blog a quick squirt of Oust*

    x

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  9. Ah, been there, done that! I looked after our first born (he's now 15) for about four months on my own when my wife went back to work; we were newish to Paris and I thought I could write inbetween looking after Brainbox. Ha! I spent my days changing nappies (sometimes eight times a day or more!) and feeding my darling boy throughout the day. When he napped, I collapsed and napped too. Exhausting, hands-on work.

    But I wouldn't have missed out on any of it. I also became an expert nappy changer although I don't really want to pursue that as a career option.

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  10. Oh yes, we're certainly back to normal now, SPD. Why, only yesterday I changed a couple of nappies that were merely wet!

    Rotten timing, Steve. In our house it was everyone except Charlie who was ill on Christmas Day - he ate everyone else's lunch.

    Oh, I've got that joy (potty training) still to come, Maternal Tales. Best of luck!

    Oh yes, Mal. There'll be plenty to go round, I'm sure. And, yes, Charlie didn't seem at all perturbed - which is why we thought he couldn't have been ill, DJ. His appetite has certainly been fine throughout!

    I think I'm resigned to the fact that there never is an easy bit, AG. It's just different hassles all the way...

    Thanks for sharing, Sub. I refer you to Maternal Tales (above)!

    Thanks - we needed that, Kitty.

    You know, DD, that's been as big a problem as the mess. I was an expert nappy-changer until this happened. I had it down to just a minute-and-a-half. This has knocked my performance right off the pace.

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  11. I do not miss those days one single bit! My husband was mysteriously absent during that time...hmmmm....

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  12. As we join here together to share our pain...I want to share my Mantra--One Day She Will Do This On Her Own. One Day. (I find it helpful to repeat often--that and to breath through my mouth and not my nose!)

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  13. MMR?
    Massive Motions Regularly

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  14. Ugh! Yes, their nappies are horribler the bigger the baby gets. Still remember that classic!

    And the tell-tale red face. Doesn't your heart sink! But you know how it is, he'll be sitting on that toilet before you know it!

    xxxx

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  15. Ours is not gonna go through that all. She will enter this world as a well trained little lady, politely asking me if I'd excuse her to have a poo. And then she will make mummy a cuppa and quickly pop down to Otto Lenghi to get some tea cakes. Life is wonderful.

    Hormonally,
    MM

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  16. OMG, I thought my nappy-changing days were long over! But at least the smell doesn't reach Yorkshire...YET! Until Charlie's MMR booster, of course! But by then he will be hopefully off nappies! Still reading your book. I want to read it slowly to enjoy it better. I love the way you write. Ciao. A.

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  17. I feel your pain. It is absolutely impossible that my 2 year old can expel such voluminous excrement in 3-4 nappies a day, when all he appears to live on are strawberries, croissants and the odd cheerio. Nevermind the shocking diet...WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM AND WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE DEATH????
    (oh yeah, and why is my husband always suddenly on his mobile or busy working the second the first whiff permeates the room? Hmmmm??

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  18. I know that I shouldn't really have laughed, but it was when I got to the bit about his face turning red and I pictured you sitting watching him during all his daylight hours - ready for those few minutes between flushed cheek and whoosh.

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  19. Pleased that you had him vaccinated. A week of the squitters is better than the damage than measles can do.

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  20. A friend who also has a picky eater like mine, commented once on how unbelievable it was that so much poop could come from so little food.

    Good luck with all that!

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  21. Glad all the negative press about the MMR didnt put you off having it done! :)

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  22. Best part is when they get out of nappies! I was useless with them myself.

    CJ xx

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  23. Goodness! Glad I've already eaten before reading your post. I do not miss the nappy days at all!

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  24. I started changing nappies 34½ years ago - with terry nappies! (My 3 year old still wears nappies at bedtime, so I'm still changing them.) You have it soooo easy! Just try terry nappies - just for 1 week...you'll never complain about changing napopies again!

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  25. You win the proze for longevity, Robert. And I'm not even trying to compete!

    And, yes - I should have posted a warning at the top of the page, at least to those of you who might be eating. Sorry!

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